Jokes and funny stuff for those who love humor and comedy and want to share it with everyone'
Looking sad..
A man was crying and saying: What did i do with you? why did you go? Was i your enemy? I will never forgive you..
His colleague asked: Yo are looking so sad and to whom you are saying all this?
Man replied: My spouse's Ex-Hubby, He is no more in this world..
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Successful man..
Cristine: You know, behind every successful man, there is a woman!
Michal: But behind every unsuccessful man, there are two..
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Why do you gift apple...
Once a Doctor and engineer fall in love with same lady.
Engineer started gifting an apple to the girl.
Girl asked: There are lots of other things to gift but why do you give me this apple?
Engineer replied: Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away!
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Exchanging seats..
Thomas: I could not slept whole night in train..
Merle: Why so?
Thomas: I got my seat at upper berth.
Merle: Why did not you exchange you seat?
Thomas: But, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth!!
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You are aged if..
Man: When i should think that i am getting aged?
Friend: When your beloved says, 'can we go upstairs and make some romantic talks?' and you reply, 'Sorry dear but i can't afford to do both things at a time.'
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Today's kids...
Photographer: Hello, baby, look, here is a parrot..
Kid: Do not be childish. Adjust the focus... Set the camera on portrait mode, Pic should be in macro and high resolution, otherwise i will not pay!!
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I hate that beggar..
Girl: I hate that beggar.
Father: Why so?
Girl: Yesterday, I gave him food yesterday and today he Gifted me a book-"How to Cook"!!
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Rain color..
Teacher: Tom, Tell me the color of rain?
Tom: Miss, I think it has water color!!
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I love lipsticks..
First friend: Dear, i love lipsticks, they are very tasty.
Next Day..
Second friend: You are liar, i bought 10 lipsticks and ate but worst taste..
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Courier returned as it is..
There was a 75 year old lady, who neither did love nor got married in her life time.
She has written a note: "My grave stone should be marked with 'Born clean, lived clean and died clean'
When she died, Sculptor read that but was in hurry so he short ended it with: ‘Courier Returned as it is’!!
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Sitting of bride and bridegroom...
Girl: Why in wedding ceremony, bride sits on Left and bridegroom sits on right side?
Accountant: According to Profit and Loss Account, all income are on right side and expenses on left side..
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About my salary package..
Bridegroom: I was happy with my salary package, but now we are two. Is my package sufficient for you expense and needs?
Bride: Of-course, it is more than enough for me, but what about you?
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Tears are not coming...
Husband: My wife died today.. I am trying to cry but tears are not coming out.
What should I do?
Friend: So easy.. Once Imagine that she Came Back!!
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Wife in anger..
Wife in anger: I was mad when i accepted your marriage proposal shortly..
Hubby: Yes honey, but I was in love so i could not noticed that..
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Who is Doctor...
Kid: Dad, Who is a Doctor?
Father: Doctor is a human being who kills our ills by his suggested pills but thrills us his raised bills!!
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Water after eating fish..
Jackson: Now i can to know why after Eating Fish, people do not drink water..
Suzie: Why so?
Jackson: Because people fear that fish will start swimming in their Stomach
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And tagged you..
Professor: Where is your homework?
Student Sir, Kindly check out your Facebook, I already uploaded it and tagged you.
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Condition of husband is like...
Sometimes the condition of husband is just like split AC..
It does not matters, how loud he is outside, but inside the house...
He is designed to remain silent, cool and controlled by remote...
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Doctor prescription...
Friend1: Earlier my son was ill but after Doctor prescription, now he has broken leg too.
Friend2: How is it possible?
Friend1: Yes, he wen to Doctor and Doctor gave hm prescription and instructed that no matter what happened you have to follow the prescription..
Friend2: But he had broken leg
Friend1: He was standing by window and the prescription blew and he followed that paper and jumped from the window...
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Compare prices..
In local Market: Compare our price..
Customer asked to salesman: Compare with what?
Salesman: With our next week prices!!
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Dead parrot..
Kid and his father were walking on the sea side.. When kid noticed a dead parrot..
Kid asked: What happened to this parrot?
Father: It died and went to heaven.
After few minutes, Kid asked: And God threw the parrot back down??
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What your watch tells..
Two men were talking..
One had worn a branded watch and the other one worn general watch..
Man 1: What is the difference between your and my watch? You bought it for 2000$ and i bought it for 100$.. Both show the same time..
Man 2 replied: No, your watch shows your time but my watch shows mine time...
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Boy is doing nothing..
Little Girl: That boy is siting there all the say, doing nothing but wasting the time..
Teacher: How do you know?
Little girl: I have been watching him continuously...
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In my pen drive..
Girl to Boy: Can you help me?
Boy: Yes, tell me your problem?
Girl: I do not have an internet access at my home computer.
So can you copy it on my pen drive?
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She may have...
Sherie: What do you do if your wife throws a pin at you?
Scot: I will as fast as possible..
Sherie: Why so?
Scot: Because it is possible that he may still holding a grenade in her hand!!
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