Clean Humor


Banks Rules: If you take car/home on loan and fail to repay, the bank takes the asset or vehicle back..
People are too smart, now they are taking loan for marriages...

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Do you know the major difference between teachers and conductors?
Yes, teacher make good minds, conductors do good checking..

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Man asked to God - Why did you make women so beautiful?
God said to in short - So that you love them.
Man asked to God - But why did you make them so dumb?
God said to man - So that they love you..

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Denis: Can you answer that Where do ghost train stops at?
Ricky: Of course at the devil station..

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Husband: It is for sure that your brain is as good as new..
Wife: How can you say that?
Husband: Because unused things stay new and clean!

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Thing to do for married men:
Married men should forget his mistakes - Because there is no use that two people remembering the same thing..

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John: How do you know that the phone is working underwater?
Shen: Simply, when i hear, it‘s wringing wet!

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If someone says you are ugly not clean, its OK, if someone says you are stupid, its OK,
If someone says you are genius slap him as tight as you can and say there
is a limit of kidding, you are now crossing the limits!

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Mr. Bean puts his pencil into a horlicks bottle !!!
why..
To make the pencil look taller, stronger & sharper !!!

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I said to a railroad engineer:
What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.
The reply from the railroad engineer:
How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

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Interviewer: what is your date of birth?
Man: Nov 28..
Interviewer: which year?
Man: Dear, every year!!!

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Wife: Should i tell you one thing but please don't slap me...
Hus: OK, tell me..
wife: I am pregnant..
Hus: Its good news, why were you fearing
Wife: I told the same before marriage, father slapped me !!!!!

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Husband: Will u marry shortly after i die?
Wife: No i Will live with my sister.
Wife: Will u marry after i die?
Husband: No, i will also live with your sister.

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An Englishman and Indian inside the toilet..
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Indian: Good evening, we open the zip and do!

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How did stupid tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

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Man on an interview for the post of 'detective' was asked a question -
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhi ji ?
Man- Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

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Mr. X: what do you think while driving car, when some one overtake you road ??
Mr. Y: anyone going slower than me is an idiot and anyone who is driving faster than me is a Maniac.....

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On 1st April stupid man traveling in bus.
Conductor asked for ticket and he gave the money..
then said: April fool.. I already have pass!!!

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Wife says to husband: why don't you work??
Husband: Because my philosophy is 'No Pain, No Pain' ..

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Friends chat..
Q: What did square says to circle?
A: Your life is so pointless..
Q: What did a man with broken leg says to nurse?
A: I have got a crutch on you.!!

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"If you are not having fun, it's your own fault." ~Rich Digirolamo

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